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but my mind has always been restless
i'm finally free of my previous worries and heartaches
summer has welcomed me with a flu
swine flu!!!! (i've been traumatized)
tomorrow I start psychology classes
now i can psycho-analyze ppl. it will b quite entertaining
i hope
- Location:my big bed
- Mood:
pleased - Music:stairway to heaven
i seem to have lost myself
can't sleep at night because the "whatifs" keep attacking me
still unaware of my wantings
SHEL SILVERSTEIN (master of nonsense)
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!
My all time favorite poem!!!!!
- Mood:
hungry - Music:weezer - this is such a pity
i dont know exactly what i'm waiting for
but time is ticking
i'm really tired
p.s: i watched the anime "rumbling hearts" ... it extremely sucked butt. most depressing anime i've ever seen.
- Mood:
indescribable - Music:laptop noises
but it's even worse when you can't get off the fence
Being stuck there can be even more exhausting
If someone can't help you down try your best to do it yourself
Even if it means falling to the ground.
In the end you can always get back up
=)
- Location:bed of love
- Mood:
nervous - Music:RHCP - can't stop
It's seems as though my words are more important and influential than i thought
or mayb it is the simple matter of time
anyways here are some parts from "Fluorescent Adolescent" by the Arctic Monkeys (can't get it out of my head)
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
and now when she tell she's gonna get it
I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget I
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn't going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You were just sounding it out
You're not coming back again.
- Location:Wendy's bed
- Mood:
amused - Music:wendy and her boyfriend talking on the phone ;)
I'm at wendy's place and i've had a pretty good day. i'm staying over til monday =)
...but my worries have seemed to progress.
Too many things on my mind and stuff i would have been better off not knowing.
people need to learn that there are somethings that u r not supposed to say to certain ppl
no matter how much u want their opinion, thoughts, ......approval
good friends tell each other everything... but sometimes ...for ur own friend's sake... leave them out of it
that seems to b my ordeal at the moment
i hope what i said matters and i hope it will make a difference
or mayb selective listening has won the battle
- Location:wendy's bed
- Mood:
disappointed - Music:call of duty game sounds
C'mon, you got it all wrong, man
And if you think that our dance was all in the hips
Oh well, then do the twist
If you think holding hands is all in the fingers
Grab hold of the soul where the memory lingers and
Make sure to never do it with a singer
Cause he'll tell everyone in the world
What he was thinking about the girl
Ya, what he's thinking about the girl, oh
A lot of people get confused and they bruise
Real easy when it comes to love
They start putting on their shoes and walking out
And singing "boy, I think I had enough"
Just because she makes you feel wrong
She don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy
Take a tip and do yourself a little service
Take a mountain turn it into a mole
Just by playing a different role
Ya, by playing a different role, oh
The boat ya you know she's rockin' it
And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it
- Location:dad's couch
- Mood:
blank - Music:RATM - "Bullet in the head"
There were no lights in the houses on the streets and i saw no one outside of their houses.
I was like WTF!!!! This is just like the scenes from those creepy horror movies.
People are on their way somewhere and when they reach the place it looks completely abandoned
And they get out the car and enter into a house
and all of a sudden there's zombie/diseased ppl eating ur flesh.
Anyways my second thoughts were
"Damn it!!! I planned to go straight to the bathroom as soon as i got home. Now i have to light candles everywhere."
Moving on i listened to a song that i haven't listened to in forever. I found it in my music library:
Amor, amor, amor
amor, amor, amor
quiero que me vuelvan a mirar tus ojos
amor, amor, amor
amor, amor, amor
quiero volver a besar tus labios rojos
como no acordarme de ti
de que manera olvidarte
si todo me recuerda a ti
en todas partes estas tu
Si en una rosa estas tu
si en cada respirarar estas tu
como te voy a olvidar
como te voy a olvidar
si besando la cruz estas tu
rezando una oracion estas tu
como te voy a olvidar
como te voy a olvidar
Si te clavaste aqui en mi corazon
y mi amor, has llenado mi alma
y tu sangre corre por mis venas
y mi sangre me hace estremecer
yo contigo
*tis a beautiful song .
p.s.: i think my visions of my someday "happy marriage" have been drowned
- Location:My Somewhat Private Dungeon
- Mood:
uncomfortable - Music:Killer Heels
I'm alive!!!! I exist!!!! although as of now i dont think there is much of a story to my existence. I seem to only find confusion.
I am Alice on shrooms.
I want to pass tomorrows drivers permit test but half of me wants to fail.
I overthink things. I think too much.
For once i would like to know what i want.
No more than once.... i'm not a good decision maker.
My effing twin took my good-decision making skills.
p.s.: SAT camp murdered my thursday
- Location:the Bed of Love
- Mood: blank
- Music:constant family chatter
So yeah after school on Friday Gabby and i walked to her house and then played rockband for a long time. Her brother Zeb aka Math Freak played with us for a while. It was really fun and hearing Gabby sing was pretty amusing. The hardest part for me was the drums i could do okay on medium but the bass kept throwing me off.
After we went to this hispanic restaurant right by her house.(I taught her some Spanish while we waited)
After that we had an Ice Cream Party!!!
It was so hilarious we both had a huge bowl of ice cream each. They looked like ice cream mountains and we ate them all. At the same time we watched an anime called Gurren Lagann (it's really funny)
Then we both felt like crap because of all the ice cream.
We decided to go to sleep and gabby became completely possessed by the ice cream. She kept talking on and on about random stuff it was a little hard to understand what the hell she was saying. Most likely she was half a sleep because the next morning she couldn't remember what she had said.
We watched a movie during the afternoon called the invisible (it was ok) the theme was pretty good but the whole love story was kind of retarded at least the way the made it.
I had to leave around 5 pm and when i got home i was sad =(
I hate coming back home from a fun relaxing place like gabby's
my brother and sister weren't even at home. The only sibling i had left was my 3 year old sister so it wasn't much fun
Today was super boring i cleaned,took a shower, cleaned some more, tried to dye some of my hair green for saint patrick's day (completely failed) and now i am waiting for my green nail polish to dry to go to sleep so i'm kind of out of it
sorry if this was boring but it's getting really boring waiting for this stupid nail polish. Why the hell did i even paint my nails so late now i have to wait and it sux. I'm gonna fall asleep writing this crap and the stupid nail polish will get on my face. I'm going crazy. I WANT SLEEP. Arggghhh this is annoying i'm so retar.............................
- Location:my room
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:linkin park - breaking the habit
